Fluents Have Feelings, Too

I’ve been told from you (extremely wonderful) Fluents that read my blog, that you do so for a number of reasons: to understand stuttering, to help spread awareness, or to support a stutterer that you know. I focus the majority of my attention on stutterers, and for valid reasons. With only 1% of the population life-long stutterers, this is an extremely unrepresented, misunderstood group. But, with 99% of the population being fluent, this blog naturally reaches more fluents than stutterers.

I receive Fluents’ feedback regularly, and two of the most frequent questions are: “How should I react when someone is stuttering?” as well as: “What can I do to help?” I’ll answer these questions, but I’ll do one step further. Over the next few posts, I’ll be taking a brief look into the reactions of fluents, and how this appears from a stutterer’s point of view.

If you don’t know me, you’re probably wondering, “How can you cross into a Fluent’s point of view?” I will be asking the opinions of Fluents around me, as well as uncovering any research on the issue I can find. However, I’ll put my qualifications simply: I just love people. It’s not because I feel I’m particularly insightful or perceptive, and I certainly don’t assume that all 99% of fluents will fall precisely into my categories. I just enjoy interacting. Despite my stutter, I’ve spent nearly twenty years talking, conversing, and exchanging ideas with Fluents.

I’ve met three main kinds of Fluents: the Confused, the Empathetic, and the Encouraging. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be analyzing these groups more closely and giving specific advice to each group.

But first, let’s answer the original question. How should you react when speaking to a stutterer? Keep everything as normal as possible. I realize this is easier said than done. There are, however, some obvious reactions Fluents have that are preventable—like staring relentlessly, or not making any eye contact. Laughing (in reaction to the stutter) should be avoided as well.

If you converse regularly with a stutterer but either can’t get used to the impediment, or don’t know how to react, ask the stutterer themselves. It may be an awkward conversation at first, but the stutterer will appreciate your thoughtfulness. It’s a great feeling to have someone care enough about you to take your feelings into account. So Fluents, if you’re in doubt, go straight to the stuttering-source.

And stutterers, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you. This topic will be extremely useful for you, as well. The more you understand Fluents, the less their reactions will affect you in an unhelpful way… and eventually, the more comfortable with your stutter you’ll become.

Let me end by apologizing for my delayed updates. I’ve been contemplating starting this subject for a while, and it’s taken me some time to begin. That being said, I promise to be more diligent, as I really do believe this blog can accomplish something great.

I’ll continue this topic soon. Be looking for more frequent updates!   

-Rachel

What Causes Stuttering?

Stuttering affects over 3 million people in the United States. Though this number seems hefty, let’s put it into perspective.

30% of Americans still read the newspaper.

20% of Americans smoke cigarettes.

25% of Americans eat fast food every day.

1% of Americans stutter.

With that comparison, the lack of analysis and knowledge about stuttering isn’t shocking; this, along with the disorder’s intricacy, keeps the cause of stuttering evasive and vague. Also, it's possible that what causes stuttering differs from what makes it continue or get worse (though that's a new entry entirely). The exploration for this week, however, is the cause of stuttering.

Though its origin can't be pinpointed, we know that stuttering occurs when a combination of factors come together. Most researchers agree on four possible factors: genetics, child development, family dynamics, and neurophysiology. 

Genetics is the elephant that won’t leave the stuttering room. Though 60% of stutterers have family members who also stutter (myself included) it’s yet to be directly associated with the disorder. New information, however, indicates genetics as a factor. Researchers have discovered the first genes linked to stuttering: a complex set of three mutated genes, found inside 1 of every 11 stutterers. Though the study’s significance remains uncertain, this breakthrough is certainly leading scientists into a positive direction.

Child development and family dynamics are two parallel roots in the stuttering tree. It’s common sense to assume that children with other speech problems (or developmental delays) are potential stutterers. Also, children raised in fast-paced, or stressful households, are more likely to stutter. These possible factors usually make parents horrified. When I first began taking speech therapy, my mom (who is not only extremely supportive, but also well researched on my disorder) turned to me and said, “Your therapist better not blame me.” Though we laughed at the absurd possibility, I know that for my mom, it’s a sincere concern. But my parents, like other compassionate parents of stutterers, are not responsible for their child’s disorder. Parents: if you’re apprehensive, then you’re blameless. Clearly, it means you care.

The last stuttering factor comes from neurophysiology, which is the study of the nervous system. Scientists believe neurophysiology helps prove that stutterers process speech in an unusual way. The University of Toronto recently conducted a study about stuttering. They gave Fluents and stutterers something to read silently, and measured the brain activity of both.  Their results surprised me, though not because of any innovative insight. The observations scientists are making have been described previously in my blog.

For instance, Toronto’s researchers found that when stutterers read, they activate a region of the brain that controls anticipatory reactions to complex tasks. This activation implies that stutterers silently rehearse words before speaking. Another discovery showed that stutterers have increased brain activity, especially in the right hemisphere. Researchers believe this proves stutterers process speech by scanning and scrutinizing their words.

This study's results greatly comforted me. Stutterers are more critical of their speech than anyone, so I know that some part of every stutterer wonders, “Am I to blame?” I’ve wondered this question often, arguing both sides. The answer, however, is no. I’ll save this complexity’s explanation for next week, and instead, conclude by answering a new complexity.

I’d like to remedy some misinterpretations, as well as clarify my intentions for this blog. I created it to help others who stutter. I’ve continued it because it helps Fluents understand stuttering. And I’ll continue to write it, persistently so, because helping others helps me. This blog was not created out of self-pity, and does not seek sympathy. I know there are much worse circumstances that I could encounter in life, and don’t believe that stuttering triumphs inflictions, maladies, or disease. What I do believe is this: stutterers must be understood, supported, and encouraged.

Without it, three million people will always feel alone.  

-Rachel 

What is Stuttering?

It’s a simple question with a complicated answer: What is stuttering?

Stuttering is a communication disorder, affecting less than 1% of the population. There are three main classifications of stuttering: repetition, prolongation, and stoppage. Many stutterers have a combination, but one specific type that’s more dominant. To fully grasp the differences, they should be heard. The following are videos clips of actual stutterers.

            Gracie is primarily a repetition stutterer.

            Ashlee is primarily a stoppage stutterer.

            Gianna is primarily a prolongation stutterer.         

You can see the struggle on their faces as they resist their speech. Unusual facial and body movements are common among stutterers. There are, however, many inner battles being fought inside Gracie, Ashlee, and Gianna that aren’t easily noticed.

The primary battle for a stutterer is trying to say words that they can’t. I’ll call these words Problem Words. Stutterers have dozens of innate tricks to avoid Problem Words. Some will postpone Problem Words by replacing them with pauses, or digressions; some will use physical movements, such as head jerks, to physically “force” Problem Words out (I’ll sometimes clench my fists without even realizing it). There are many techniques, both taught and instinctual, that I’ll explain later. First, though, I want to show what happens when you can’t win this battle, and Problem Words invade your speech.

The mind of stutterer is fast, but frenzied. After stuttering on certain words, sounds, or letters (Problem Words) we automatically begin avoiding them. Kristen Chmela, a speech pathologist from Long Grove, understands stutter-expectation. “I used to know, prior to stuttering on a word,” she said, “that I was going to a have a problem on it.”

This is when substitution comes in. Substitution is a technique stutters use to avoid saying Problem Words; they replace the Problem Words for other word(s) like it (synonyms).

If I, for instance, want to say: “I appreciate you letting me come over,” I’m immediately aware that two of my Problem Words are ‘appreciate’ and ‘letting.’ I would start substituting as soon as the potential stuttering approached. In this situation, I’d like to imagine by mind works similarly to a swat team; it surrounds my sentence, isolates the Problem Words, and demands its surrender. What I would say in lieu of the original thought would be: “I’m so glad I came over, thank you.” This process happens so swiftly, it occurs without anyone else realizing it.   

But substitution doesn’t always work. Yesterday, for example, was my mom’s birthday. I called our local bakery to order her an apple spice cake (her favorite). But I usually stutter on words that start in vowels. So instead of requesting the cake directly, I substituted, asking, “What kind of spicy, fruity cakes do you have?” I knew it sounded ridiculous, but I was desperate to avoid stuttering. The employee replied, “Well, we have a carrot cake.” I sighed. I couldn’t order the wrong cake just to avoid my stutter. “I think she likes the… a a-a-apple cake,” I said.

Once I started stuttering, I couldn’t stop. Stuttering is similar to a rolling snowball in that way. But even though I was completely aware of my stutter, I wasn’t as embarrassed as I might’ve been in the past. I did what I had to, and my mom’s birthday cake ended up being wonderful. At the end of the day, those few moments of discomfort were worth it.

           

Stutterers, I know you’ll avoid Problem Words, but in situations that you can’t, don’t be afraid to say them. The more you anticipate a Problem Word’s arrival, the more anxious you’ll be when it finally appears. So say it and move on, regardless of how it unraveled.

Be brave, stutterers, and know that, despite what form your words might take, relief will always follow.

-Rachel

The Beginning

  My name is Rachel and I’m a stutterer.

            Stutterers have questions. In this disorder, it’s easy to feel lost. Some are desperate to understand the mechanics of it all—such as: What caused this? How can I prevent it? How do I cope with it when I can’t prevent it?

            Some are agonized emotionally, and wonder: How do I explain this? Can I handle the mocking, and the shame? Can I deal with my stutter at work, when I’m with my family, or while I’m in a relationship?

            I’ll answer all these questions and more; but first, I'll answer the most common, yet destructive, question a stutterer asks. I remember wondering this as a child, coming home from elementary school one afternoon, red-faced because I couldn’t clearly respond to my teacher in class. This question haunted me through middle school, high school, and all the way to college, and I’m certain it’s plagued some of you, too: Why do I feel so alone?

The answer is simple: because you choose to be. You are not alone. Stutterers deceive themselves into thinking that no one understands, or cares, or listens. But I understand, I care, and I listen, and I know there are many people out there who do, too.  The resources for stutterers are numerous (if you’re skeptical, there are links on the left-hand side of this page). These sites are extremely valuable, but are missing camaraderie; there’s no sense of togetherness. Because of this, I always yearned to meet someone who understood what I was going through… and for other stutterers, I hope this blog will do just that. My goal is to help, advise, and support in any way that I can. 

While this blog may be a haven for stutterers, it’s foreign territory to fluents (this is a term I invented for the majority of the population, who have little to no disfluency).  But fluents, don’t pull out your artillery just yet; I haven’t forgotten about you. I believe I speak for most stutterers when I say we’re not looking for sympathy, and we’re certainly not looking for someone to blame. Most people that have mocked my stutter did so because they thought I was joking, and how can I blame them? If I’m not upfront when I meet someone (the hide-the-stutter game, which I’ll get to later) then when I do stutter, they don’t know how to respond. It’s an uncomfortable situation, and I can’t give you a foolproof answer… but, what I can give you is even better.

Fluents, use this blog as a way to understand, empathize, and glimpse into the secret, speech impediment world. Try keeping an open mind— after all, many of you have friends, family members, classmates, and colleagues that have speech impediments. (For some of you, that may even be me). If any of you have ever heard, spoken to, or cared about someone that stutters and wondered why, then this blog is for you. Everyone has insecurities, and everyone desires compassion. Stutterers are no different.

Though the blogging world is vast and competitive, I'm optimistic that I can make a difference. This is something I'm truly passionate about. If I can help even one stutterer overcome their problems, then it’ll all be worth it.

-Rachel