Fluents Have Feelings, Too

I’ve been told from you (extremely wonderful) Fluents that read my blog, that you do so for a number of reasons: to understand stuttering, to help spread awareness, or to support a stutterer that you know. I focus the majority of my attention on stutterers, and for valid reasons. With only 1% of the population life-long stutterers, this is an extremely unrepresented, misunderstood group. But, with 99% of the population being fluent, this blog naturally reaches more fluents than stutterers.

I receive Fluents’ feedback regularly, and two of the most frequent questions are: “How should I react when someone is stuttering?” as well as: “What can I do to help?” I’ll answer these questions, but I’ll do one step further. Over the next few posts, I’ll be taking a brief look into the reactions of fluents, and how this appears from a stutterer’s point of view.

If you don’t know me, you’re probably wondering, “How can you cross into a Fluent’s point of view?” I will be asking the opinions of Fluents around me, as well as uncovering any research on the issue I can find. However, I’ll put my qualifications simply: I just love people. It’s not because I feel I’m particularly insightful or perceptive, and I certainly don’t assume that all 99% of fluents will fall precisely into my categories. I just enjoy interacting. Despite my stutter, I’ve spent nearly twenty years talking, conversing, and exchanging ideas with Fluents.

I’ve met three main kinds of Fluents: the Confused, the Empathetic, and the Encouraging. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be analyzing these groups more closely and giving specific advice to each group.

But first, let’s answer the original question. How should you react when speaking to a stutterer? Keep everything as normal as possible. I realize this is easier said than done. There are, however, some obvious reactions Fluents have that are preventable—like staring relentlessly, or not making any eye contact. Laughing (in reaction to the stutter) should be avoided as well.

If you converse regularly with a stutterer but either can’t get used to the impediment, or don’t know how to react, ask the stutterer themselves. It may be an awkward conversation at first, but the stutterer will appreciate your thoughtfulness. It’s a great feeling to have someone care enough about you to take your feelings into account. So Fluents, if you’re in doubt, go straight to the stuttering-source.

And stutterers, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you. This topic will be extremely useful for you, as well. The more you understand Fluents, the less their reactions will affect you in an unhelpful way… and eventually, the more comfortable with your stutter you’ll become.

Let me end by apologizing for my delayed updates. I’ve been contemplating starting this subject for a while, and it’s taken me some time to begin. That being said, I promise to be more diligent, as I really do believe this blog can accomplish something great.

I’ll continue this topic soon. Be looking for more frequent updates!   

-Rachel